At 23 years old, I thought I had it all.
A recent college graduate with a Masters degree, I was convinced that it was all uphill from here. I was ready to have that “perfect” life I always dreamed of.
I was always the type of woman who thought she would have her life figured out post-graduation. I dreamed about having a career all mapped out, and my bank account thriving as fast as I was climbing up the ladder to success. When none of that happened, I knew something was wrong.
In life, sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can reach your destiny. It was Marilyn Monroe who said, “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
Moving to Dubai has to be my biggest achievement of 2015. I always wanted to be independent – to be completely responsible for myself. 2015 gave me that and also taught me some of the most important lessons about life and myself.
I’ve learned that it’s okay to not be okay – I don’t know what my next move is right now, and I’m slowly starting to realise that not having your sh*t together in your early 20s is okay. Even though I have spent most of my adolescence dreaming of the day I’d graduate and walk into a job, it’s okay not to have it all figured out right away.
Things sometimes seem horrible, and I feel like a bit of a failure. But as long as I am making strides to figure out what I want out of life, it’s all good.
Another lesson I learned the hard way is that I can’t control everything. I’m a control freak. Maybe it’s because I have anxiety, or maybe it’s because it’s the unknown that makes me nervous, but I always want to know what my next move is so I can prepare.
As a college student, it was easy for me to have control of my life by mapping out my class schedule around my work schedule, finding time to have a night out to de-stress and setting aside time to write my papers. But, as an adult in the real world, having control is almost impossible. And it’s okay to not know what is going to happen next. I guess that’s what makes it interesting.
This year, I will stop thinking everyone else has it together. Social media always glorifies people’s good times and good days. Seeing everyone else doing good makes me feel worse.
Instead of focusing on their lives, I’m going to focus on my own and how to get back to where I want to be. Wasting energy on other people isn’t only counterproductive, it’s also just tiring.
I will also calm down. Sometimes, I have to stop and remember I’m only 23. No matter how mature I think I am, or how much crap I’ve been through in life, I am still young. I’m free to be exactly who I am, with no remorse or apologies. It’s about time I embrace these days, before they’re long gone.
Happy New Year everyone! 🙂