You know after staying out all day in the pollution and dust, when you clean your face really well and exfoliate and stuff and your face feels ten pounds lighter and clean and kind of raw — that’s how I want my heart to feel. You have to go through the whole day, waiting for the moment when you’ll get to rid your skin of all the dirt. It’s the refreshing change we all long for. Everybody talks about wanting to change things and help and fix, but ultimately all you can do is fix yourself. And that’s a lot. Because if you can fix yourself, it has a ripple effect.

Sometimes, all of a sudden you feel the urge to cry and you don’t know why or where is it coming from. At that moment, recognise that it is not from nowhere. It is from a somewhere where you forgot to mourn properly. Let these tears come. Let your body mourn. Let your body feel the loss. Even if you cannot understand yourself (who can?), it is important to let your body have this.

I still catch myself feeling sad about things that don’t matter anymore. It’s something I consciously try to avoid, but there are moments when everything fails. It’s like being outdoors and being dirty. I’ve realised it’s all about having the ability to negotiate with your mind. A negotiation that can cost you your thoughts.

I’ve realised it is important to think about what you want, not what you don’t want. Carefully guarding your thoughts is important, because they create your experiences. If you inherently long for something, become it first. If you want gardens, become the gardener. If you want love, embody love. If you want mental stimulation, change the conversation. If you want peace, exude calmness. If you want to fill your world with artists, begin to create art. If you want to be valued, respect your own time. This is how to draw it in, day by day, inch by inch. I don’t know of any other way.

And how do you get through it every single day? Well, I breathe. That is my secret. 


Lessons Learned


Image credit: Henry Asencio

There are parts of you that want sadness. Find them out. Ask them why. Not everything in life will be beautiful and long lasting. Sometimes people come into your life to teach you lessons; to show you what is acceptable and what it not. They test your limits; show you who you can be. You wouldn’t have learned to love yourself until you hadn’t bent over backwards long enough for it to start hurting.

These people, their presence is temporary. To fight for someone who intends to stay seems worth the effort, but why fight for someone who wants to leave? They come for a little while to make you feel better, to be someone to walk with at night and spill your life to. They don’t, however, stay forever. We still have to keep going and thank them for the beautiful memories they gave us.

People inspire you, or they drain you—pick them wisely.