Lost Friend

What do you do when the people who mattered are not there anymore? Life did what it does and pulled you apart and here you are trying to understand what went wrong. In most cases, it’s a little more difficult for one of them, and my sympathies lies with that one. Cause I have been on that side and it’s not pretty.

It’s somewhere on the lines of unrequited love, only here it’s unrequited friendship. And it’s a lot more painful. You keep trying to connect, to keep it together, to keep the bond alive but if only it was a one man show and didn’t take two to keep the bond afloat.

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It’s almost like you can see the end nearing when all your requests are met with a hesitant no, or the quintessential I’m busy. The battle is lost when the conversation comes down to showing who is doing better and who has it all figured out. You stop connecting and start competing. And the moment this realisation dawns, you know what was once a bond, is now an obligation.

It’s a slow death that takes its own sweet time. You keep trying, they keep trying. No one ever talks about it or addresses the thorn that is hurting both. After a point you just get used to the pricking sensation instead of plucking the damn thing out. It’s then when you know that it is over, that it’ll never be the same again; and that illusion that you too have a best friend was life playing another sick prank with you. You realise this when you’re sitting in your room alone with a wish to talk and no one to talk to.

I too lost a friend and that feeling is difficult to put into words. It’s like a huge chunk of me died. It’s a loss in belief — the belief that there will always be someone to go back to, someone to talk to, that life isn’t all that bad because you managed to find this friend. Life in its true essence is lonely. The only constant is you with a fleet of people that come and go. At some point you accept this reality and maybe then the absence starts hurting less.

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What To Do When Everything is Falling Apart? Be The Spiritual Warrior!

So you are doing everything you can to stay positive and hold on to that little ray of hope when everything around you is just falling apart. Your life is getting harder and harder with every passing day and you know it’s important to stay focused and positive but it just seems so very difficult at the moment.

Your life is a journey where stops, speed breakers, blocks go along with smooth and clear path. There are crossroads, back roads, peak experiences, mountains to climb, valleys of despair, deserts and oases, wildernesses and wastelands, rivers to cross, forks in the road, detours, dead ends, and the open road. They’re all descriptive of places we’ve been. Wouldn’t it be nice to know beforehand what lies ahead in order to avoid an unpleasant, or difficult obstacle on our path? There are times when you know what to expect and then there are those moments when you are absolutely clueless about the happenings.

During those rough times, what you really want to remember is to not run away from fear. Instead, lean into it. It’s not the most popular or good feeling practice. Our natural tendency is to fight, flee, or freeze. We want to move away from what is uncomfortable. Get rid of it. But, do the contrary. Move toward the places that scare you, that are most uncomfortable for you, and allow them to dissolve, to break apart, to open your heart.

Surprised? The point here is to experience the present. To be in the now. To feel it. To grow your capacity to be human. Live life in all it’s expressions. You’ll want to protest but then what choice do you really have? How far will you run? You’ll eventually end up where you started from. Instead of letting these difficult times harden you and build walls around your heart to protect against it, let it break you, let it soften, and then let it melt the resistance. See what happens.

Our fear comes from knowing what will happen. We will die. We will not be able to handle the pain or loneliness or loss or uncertainty or the despair. It will kill us. Or, it will open our heart so that we can experience what it is to be genuine. What it is to be human, what it is to experience life truthfully in all its pain, with all its beauty.

The prime reason for most of our suffering is because we want things to be different. Don’t let your circumstances or your wish for things to change rob you of your present. Accept this. Embrace this. A wise person once said, “Bad times go as they come”. Stay positive. Stay focused. Stay blessed.

Originally posted on Health Products For You Blog