Letters To Self


All your childhood, you waited for this phase of life. It always seemed like the coolest, most glamorous time. Filled with love and laughter.

Yet here you are. With knowledge that it’s anything but. It’s messy buns and messier lives. It’s baggy shirts, overflowing laundry bags and cheap take outs. It’s a lot of work and never enough money. It’s freedom with responsibilities. Not quiet how you imagined it to be.

Different people are doing different things.

Your best friend is killing it with success. Your old classmate is getting married. Your ex is happy in love. Your old friend is drowning in alcohol. Different people are doing different things. But not you. You’re just here – getting through your days a little better than the last. But then you have days where you can’t get up at all; petrified and wrapped in a blanket of confusion.

You spend time adding clothes to cart but never place the order because you’re too responsible to spend all that money in one go. Too careful and not vulnerable enough to lose yourself to someone else’s tunes. But somehow this isn’t enough. This life you’re living doesn’t feel complete. You feel lost more often than not and wonder where you went wrong. Why are you stuck while others aren’t.

Did I do too much too soon? Did I not do enough? Is there a reason why it is never me? Is this going to be the rest of my life? Unsuccessful? Alone? Filled with dreams that might never come true? It’s a malicious mind space to be in.

Maybe it’s not so bad. Maybe sometimes the best you can do is breathe and believe. We’ve all been vulnerable. Texted the wrong person. Made that call. Messed up an important interview. Felt the green monster towards a friend in love. Envied the successful friend.

Sometimes it takes serious effort to not hate oneself. To not think too low of oneself. There is so much left to do. A world filled with life is waiting to happen. Books to be read, steps to be taken, places to visit. There is so much ahead. And in ten years you will look back, and wish you were here again.

This time is too precious to waste wallowing in your own sadness. Don’t lose yourself to self-pity and non-existent boundaries. Do simple things. Stop procrastinating, take a walk with the nature, go to the gym, read your favourite book for the millionth time, watch a movie, sketch more – a little better than the last time. Get out of your head and enjoy the small pleasures of life. Let your life revolve around you. Wake up with a smile and let go of the worries. Make memories so wild, you’ll be the coolest grandparent they’ve ever known.

It’s only mid-20s.



rare-animal-friendship-gray-wolf-brown-bear-lassi-rautiainen-finland-91People walk around today calling everyone their best friend.

The term doesn’t have any real meaning anymore. Mere acquaintances are lavished with hugs and kisses upon a second or at most third meeting.

Birthday cards get passed around offices so everybody can scribble a snippet of sentimentality for a colleague they’ve barely met.

And everyone just loves everyone. As a result, when you tell somebody you love them today, it isn’t much heard. 

-Alan Shore


It happens. Today it’ll all seem fine. Tomorrow you’ll grow apart. Friends will no longer be friends. Partners will walk hand in hand until their fingers no longer intertwine.

The kiss that once meant weak knees and racing heart will no longer taste like sweet love but more like bitter goodbyes.

The ones to whom you once poured your heart out to will seem like strangers. An unpleasant silence is all you’ll have to offer when you see them again. When your words will lose their way.

You’ll spend your days and nights staring into nothing, wondering what caused this distance, this black abyss between you. And more often than not it won’t be an argument that tore you apart but life itself. It’s you. It’s them. And it’s time.

You changed. You grew up. You realised your importance. You moved on. And they did too.

Things that once used to mean the world are now just photos hiding away in some corner. People that used to make you feel like you could climb the highest mountain now make you feel like drowning at the bottom of the sea.

And all of this is okay. It’s a part of life. People come and people go. Some friendships and relationships last a lifetime. Some fail to keep up and hence, aren’t worth holding on to.

So let go. If they don’t make you happy anymore, let them go.


I know what it is like to be tired – and not just in a physical sense.

This wearing, thankless world can be an exhausting place to live in. You get tired from loving too much, caring too much, giving too much and then not getting anything in return. You’re tired of the blurred outcomes, the uncertainties. You’re tired of the grey area.

There was a time when you weren’t this worn out. There was a time when you were hopeful and pure. When your optimism outweighed your cynicism and you were ready to give everything you had. And then you were chipped away and tattered piece by piece – a broken heart here, an un-kept promise there. The world hasn’t been kind to you and you have lost more than you have won. You are trying to find that hope in you to try all over again.

Truth is, we are all tired. Each one of us. There comes a time when we are nothing but a mass of broken heart and aching soul, desperately looking for fulfillment. We want more but we’re scared to ask for it. We’re scared to try again. Because we are afraid to see  everything come crashing down. Again. After all, we’re not sure how many times will we be able to start all over.

We all think we are alone in our exhaustion. But the truth is we are afraid to trust each other, to talk, to believe that we will not make a fool of ourselves again. So we let our guards go up. We build walls. We take up roles we once loathed, because we’re not sure what choice we have left.

In times like these, go slowly and quietly. Simply because it is a better choice than stopping and giving up.

Airport Shenanigans

Airports are one of the best places to be entertained. With all the hustle bustle, it’s tough to not be amazed.

I am not really a fan of flying or of airports. Strange as it may sound, I am quiet scared of airports for reasons unknown to me. However, since I live in a different country than my parents, flying happens more often than I’d like. I have flown a couple of times now and there are certain kinds of people I always see at the airport.

Type 1: The Super Models

If you are a fan of sleeping then there is a good chance you will not be a fan of early morning/late night flights. Performing the basic activities like immigration and security seems like a challenge when your mind is on snooze. At times like these the people that surprise me the most are the ones who are dressed like earth is their ramp and life is a fashion show. My lose pants, and sorry t-shirt feel uncomfortable in front of their well-cut denims and fancy jackets. My dark circles are in always in awe of their well contoured face. It’s a struggle. 

Type 2: The Duty-Free Shoppers
I’m guilty! The only reason I’m always early (apart from travel anxiety) is to ensure that I have enough time to check every single store at the duty free. Shopping at the duty free is a custom for us. We do not board a flight without the duty free bag. Be it chocolates, or an entire MAC make-up kit – we respect and follow the tradition.

Type 3: The Brand Conscious

They are people who wear sunglasses that has bands shouting ‘DIOR’ inside the airport. Their iPhones are covered in shiny diamond cases and their bags are more often than not Louis Vuitton. They exude pretentiousness and my most favourite source of entertainment.

Not The End…Not Yet

After a lot of whining, crying, obsessing and denial, I’ve always got what I wanted. Always. The college, the university, the job, the city, the house, the view from the house, the roommates…every small thing. However, as human tendency is, I’m never satisfied. And I don’t think I should be. I think the hunger to want more and want better is what keeps me going.

I’m an anxious person and mostly impatient so the road to achieving the next goal is never easy. Which is how I know that I’m headed to something bigger – something better. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I am not grateful. I’m grateful for where my life is at the moment. However, do I think it can be better? Yes, absolutely. Therefore, until I feel like I’ve gone a step further I will always be worried and tensed. It’s probably the stage I will always be in. Maybe I am stuck in a rut. Or maybe this is how I hustle.

Gary Vaynerchuck in one of his episodes said, “When you have the big picture – the long term goal in your mind, something interesting happens. You stop stressing on small stuff. Being 85% effective in your short term moves and being 110% focused on your long term goal makes you move faster and reach that goal faster.”

I resonate a lot with that sentiment – keep your focus on the big picture but do not lose sight of the present activities. After all achieving small goals makes it easier to achieve bigger ones. Therefore, for this week, I have 2 goals:

  • No cheat meal until next Saturday and exercise at least 4 days a week.
  • Finish reading ‘Re-Awaken The Giant Within – Anthony Robins’.

Simple goals. Small actions and a lot of determination. Just like Anthony Robins says, “raise your standards.”

That’s going to be goal for this week. Raise my standards and prove to myself that all I really have to do is want to do something. And then do it.


At 23 years old, I thought I had it all.
A recent college graduate with a Masters degree, I was convinced that it was all uphill from here. I was ready to have that “perfect” life I always dreamed of.
I was always the type of woman who thought she would have her life figured out post-graduation. I dreamed about having a career all mapped out, and my bank account thriving as fast as I was climbing up the ladder to success. When none of that happened, I knew something was wrong.
In life, sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can reach your destiny. It was Marilyn Monroe who said, “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
Moving to Dubai has to be my biggest achievement of 2015. I always wanted to be independent – to be completely responsible for myself. 2015 gave me that and also taught me some of the most important lessons about life and myself.
I’ve learned that it’s okay to not be okay – I don’t know what my next move is right now, and I’m slowly starting to realise that not having your sh*t together in your early 20s is okay. Even though I have spent most of my adolescence dreaming of the day I’d graduate and walk into a job, it’s okay not to have it all figured out right away.
Things sometimes seem horrible, and I feel like a bit of a failure. But as long as I am making strides to figure out what I want out of life, it’s all good.
Another lesson I learned the hard way is that I can’t control everything. I’m a control freak. Maybe it’s because I have anxiety, or maybe it’s because it’s the unknown that makes me nervous, but I always want to know what my next move is so I can prepare.
As a college student, it was easy for me to have control of my life by mapping out my class schedule around my work schedule, finding time to have a night out to de-stress and setting aside time to write my papers. But, as an adult in the real world, having control is almost impossible. And it’s okay to not know what is going to happen next. I guess that’s what makes it interesting.
This year, I will stop thinking everyone else has it together. Social media always glorifies people’s good times and good days. Seeing everyone else doing good makes me feel worse.
Instead of focusing on their lives, I’m going to focus on my own and how to get back to where I want to be. Wasting energy on other people isn’t only counterproductive, it’s also just tiring.
I will also calm down. Sometimes, I have to stop and remember I’m only 23. No matter how mature I think I am, or how much crap I’ve been through in life, I am still young. I’m free to be exactly who I am, with no remorse or apologies. It’s about time I embrace these days, before they’re long gone.
Happy New Year everyone! 🙂

What To Do When Everything is Falling Apart? Be The Spiritual Warrior!

So you are doing everything you can to stay positive and hold on to that little ray of hope when everything around you is just falling apart. Your life is getting harder and harder with every passing day and you know it’s important to stay focused and positive but it just seems so very difficult at the moment.

Your life is a journey where stops, speed breakers, blocks go along with smooth and clear path. There are crossroads, back roads, peak experiences, mountains to climb, valleys of despair, deserts and oases, wildernesses and wastelands, rivers to cross, forks in the road, detours, dead ends, and the open road. They’re all descriptive of places we’ve been. Wouldn’t it be nice to know beforehand what lies ahead in order to avoid an unpleasant, or difficult obstacle on our path? There are times when you know what to expect and then there are those moments when you are absolutely clueless about the happenings.

During those rough times, what you really want to remember is to not run away from fear. Instead, lean into it. It’s not the most popular or good feeling practice. Our natural tendency is to fight, flee, or freeze. We want to move away from what is uncomfortable. Get rid of it. But, do the contrary. Move toward the places that scare you, that are most uncomfortable for you, and allow them to dissolve, to break apart, to open your heart.

Surprised? The point here is to experience the present. To be in the now. To feel it. To grow your capacity to be human. Live life in all it’s expressions. You’ll want to protest but then what choice do you really have? How far will you run? You’ll eventually end up where you started from. Instead of letting these difficult times harden you and build walls around your heart to protect against it, let it break you, let it soften, and then let it melt the resistance. See what happens.

Our fear comes from knowing what will happen. We will die. We will not be able to handle the pain or loneliness or loss or uncertainty or the despair. It will kill us. Or, it will open our heart so that we can experience what it is to be genuine. What it is to be human, what it is to experience life truthfully in all its pain, with all its beauty.

The prime reason for most of our suffering is because we want things to be different. Don’t let your circumstances or your wish for things to change rob you of your present. Accept this. Embrace this. A wise person once said, “Bad times go as they come”. Stay positive. Stay focused. Stay blessed.

Originally posted on Health Products For You Blog

Mirza Ghalib

I’m a Mirza Ghalib fan. He is one of those few gems whose words haunts and calms me at the same time. Here are some of my favourite poems/shayari by him.

Suna hai woh dukh me hota hai toh mujhe yaad karta hai
Ab mai uske liye khushi ki dua karun ya gham ki

Haal poochti nahi duniya zinda logon ka
Chale aate hain janaze pe barat ki tarah

Kitna khauf hota hai shaam ke andheron me
Pooch un parindon se jinke ghar nahi hote

Huyi muddat ke Ghalib mar gaya par yaad aata hai
Har ek baat pe kahna ke yun hota toh kya hota..

Sehra ko bada naaz hai apni veerani pe
Usne deka nahi alam meri tanhayi ka

Khwaab lafzon me daal nahi sakte
Kaash aankhein padha kare koi

Sar jhukane se namazein ada nahi hoti
Dil jhukana padta hai ibadat k liye

Kuch iss tarah maine apni zindagi ko aansan kar liya
Kisi se maafi maang li – kisi ko maaf kar diya

This is my most favourite:

Mere pukhte iraade khud meri taqdeer badlenge
Meri kismat nahi mohtaaj mere haathon ki lakeero ki


With a glass of lemonade in her hand, she was leaning against the bar table taking in the surroundings. This was not something she would normally do. She never had the courage to go to a club all by herself. But tonight was different. It all happened in a spur of a moment and here she was – standing and looking at the happy faces dancing around, taking pictures, seeking attention – trying to convince themselves of things unknown to them. 

For someone who had always been in her own company she had learned to appreciate and criticise herself. Although there were moments of doubt when she wished someone could clear it for her. Just like tonight. She had never been a dress person. But tonight, for a change she wore a loose kaftan dress and heels. She put on some mascara and lipstick and hoped to fit in. 

As she gazed around the bar, scenes from all the romantic comedies she had watched danced in front of her. She imagined moments where a man dressed in a fine suit with a glass of wine in his hand would walk up to her and strike a conversation with her. No, she wasn’t looking for a one night stand. She was looking for a decent company. Maybe she was asking for a lot but then who has got anything in life without asking for it?

The lemonade was almost over and so was her will to stay. The music was too loud and the energy of all the testosterones and estrogens trying hard at being what they weren’t was just too negative. It was humid and claustrophobic. There was no reason to stay.

In those last couple of minutes she pondered about why did she do this in the first place. She had never been uncomfortable in her own company. Yes, there had been moments when she longed for a company. A company that is more than just friends. A company that knew the real her – the one that is hidden under all the pretence and rough exterior. Even though she could confidently say she didn’t need anyone, those few moments always made her question herself.

Then what was it that was really stopping her from taking that step? Probably she hadn’t found anyone interesting yet or maybe her expectations were too high. Her friends, the internet and self help books had given her tons of tips and advice on going ahead and experiencing it. That success is followed by a series of failures.

Then again, there are always exceptions to rules. It had to feel right. She was ready to wait. Clearly being in the club at this hour wasn’t going to help. Probably that was the reason for all her clichéd thoughts. She knew she the morning would wash them. With that vindication she tipped the bartender and made her way out – more determined and convinced that things happen at their own pace and at their own time. All she had to do was be patient.