So you are doing everything you can to stay positive and hold on to that little ray of hope when everything around you is just falling apart. Your life is getting harder and harder with every passing day and you know it’s important to stay focused and positive but it just seems so very difficult at the moment.
Your life is a journey where stops, speed breakers, blocks go along with smooth and clear path. There are crossroads, back roads, peak experiences, mountains to climb, valleys of despair, deserts and oases, wildernesses and wastelands, rivers to cross, forks in the road, detours, dead ends, and the open road. They’re all descriptive of places we’ve been. Wouldn’t it be nice to know beforehand what lies ahead in order to avoid an unpleasant, or difficult obstacle on our path? There are times when you know what to expect and then there are those moments when you are absolutely clueless about the happenings.
During those rough times, what you really want to remember is to not run away from fear. Instead, lean into it. It’s not the most popular or good feeling practice. Our natural tendency is to fight, flee, or freeze. We want to move away from what is uncomfortable. Get rid of it. But, do the contrary. Move toward the places that scare you, that are most uncomfortable for you, and allow them to dissolve, to break apart, to open your heart.
Surprised? The point here is to experience the present. To be in the now. To feel it. To grow your capacity to be human. Live life in all it’s expressions. You’ll want to protest but then what choice do you really have? How far will you run? You’ll eventually end up where you started from. Instead of letting these difficult times harden you and build walls around your heart to protect against it, let it break you, let it soften, and then let it melt the resistance. See what happens.
Our fear comes from knowing what will happen. We will die. We will not be able to handle the pain or loneliness or loss or uncertainty or the despair. It will kill us. Or, it will open our heart so that we can experience what it is to be genuine. What it is to be human, what it is to experience life truthfully in all its pain, with all its beauty.
The prime reason for most of our suffering is because we want things to be different. Don’t let your circumstances or your wish for things to change rob you of your present. Accept this. Embrace this. A wise person once said, “Bad times go as they come”. Stay positive. Stay focused. Stay blessed.
Originally posted on Health Products For You Blog
I’m a Mirza Ghalib fan. He is one of those few gems whose words haunts and calms me at the same time. Here are some of my favourite poems/shayari by him.
Suna hai woh dukh me hota hai toh mujhe yaad karta hai
Ab mai uske liye khushi ki dua karun ya gham ki
Haal poochti nahi duniya zinda logon ka
Chale aate hain janaze pe barat ki tarah
Kitna khauf hota hai shaam ke andheron me
Pooch un parindon se jinke ghar nahi hote
Huyi muddat ke Ghalib mar gaya par yaad aata hai
Har ek baat pe kahna ke yun hota toh kya hota..
Sehra ko bada naaz hai apni veerani pe
Usne deka nahi alam meri tanhayi ka
Khwaab lafzon me daal nahi sakte
Kaash aankhein padha kare koi
Sar jhukane se namazein ada nahi hoti
Dil jhukana padta hai ibadat k liye
Kuch iss tarah maine apni zindagi ko aansan kar liya
Kisi se maafi maang li – kisi ko maaf kar diya
This is my most favourite:
Mere pukhte iraade khud meri taqdeer badlenge
Meri kismat nahi mohtaaj mere haathon ki lakeero ki
With a glass of lemonade in her hand, she was leaning against the bar table taking in the surroundings. This was not something she would normally do. She never had the courage to go to a club all by herself. But tonight was different. It all happened in a spur of a moment and here she was – standing and looking at the happy faces dancing around, taking pictures, seeking attention – trying to convince themselves of things unknown to them.
For someone who had always been in her own company she had learned to appreciate and criticise herself. Although there were moments of doubt when she wished someone could clear it for her. Just like tonight. She had never been a dress person. But tonight, for a change she wore a loose kaftan dress and heels. She put on some mascara and lipstick and hoped to fit in.
As she gazed around the bar, scenes from all the romantic comedies she had watched danced in front of her. She imagined moments where a man dressed in a fine suit with a glass of wine in his hand would walk up to her and strike a conversation with her. No, she wasn’t looking for a one night stand. She was looking for a decent company. Maybe she was asking for a lot but then who has got anything in life without asking for it?
The lemonade was almost over and so was her will to stay. The music was too loud and the energy of all the testosterones and estrogens trying hard at being what they weren’t was just too negative. It was humid and claustrophobic. There was no reason to stay.
In those last couple of minutes she pondered about why did she do this in the first place. She had never been uncomfortable in her own company. Yes, there had been moments when she longed for a company. A company that is more than just friends. A company that knew the real her – the one that is hidden under all the pretence and rough exterior. Even though she could confidently say she didn’t need anyone, those few moments always made her question herself.
Then what was it that was really stopping her from taking that step? Probably she hadn’t found anyone interesting yet or maybe her expectations were too high. Her friends, the internet and self help books had given her tons of tips and advice on going ahead and experiencing it. That success is followed by a series of failures.
Then again, there are always exceptions to rules. It had to feel right. She was ready to wait. Clearly being in the club at this hour wasn’t going to help. Probably that was the reason for all her clichéd thoughts. She knew she the morning would wash them. With that vindication she tipped the bartender and made her way out – more determined and convinced that things happen at their own pace and at their own time. All she had to do was be patient.
Self doubt is the biggest culprit. No matter how hard you try this sleazy thing somehow always finds its way back into you head. Running away from anything has never helped. Things have always had their way of bouncing back. And maybe it’s for the best. Or maybe not. Who knows? After all everything does happen for a reason. Or does it?
It’s up to you then to figure it all out.
So what exactly are we trying to figure out here? Why do we have that self doubt? Is it us or is it because of someone else? Maybe you wanna look or be a specific way to suit somebody else’s demands. Maybe you want to do it for yourself. But how do you figure it out? Cause if you don’t, self loathing will take the better of you.
Our mind is a wicked weapon. Our body is nothing but the image of ourselves in our mind. What you think, you become. But is it really that simple? Does this mean I can be anything I want to be if I just get a grip on my thoughts? If that were possible, then all self-doubt, self-loathing, self-pity and all these vicious feelings would cease to exist. Maybe it is possible. Maybe it is a matter of practice and determination.
Will never know until you try. Maybe I will.